Slang 101

There was this girl who used to work with us. She wasn't from around here. She wasn't even from the US. She was from some Asian country where they speak "ching chang chong and I can't understand the words you're saying, go back to your country WH!T3 P0W3R!!!!" Nonetheless, she was a very intelligent girl and pretty fun to be around. The only thing is, she didn't understand our slang. Everything was literal with her.

One day a group of us (3 girls, 4 guys) were all joking around and emailing each other at work and she never responded to any of them. She usually replies when we're mass emailing each other. So I went to her desk and asked her what was wrong. She said she didn't understand anything were talking about and she felt so left out. I was usually always the one to explain things to her since she felt comfortable with me. Well, on this day we happened to be having a discussion on all things explicit.

Great! Now I had to explain everything to her. Keep in mind that we're still at work.

First thing to explain: PROTEIN SHAKE
Damn! I tried explaining it in a politically correct fashion since there were other people around us and they might hear us. "Ummm...it's like a drink but it's really thick. And it's made from the secretions of a man..." But she still didn't get it.....so I made the motions of me j3rkin' off into an imaginary cup and then offering her to drink it. And then I even drank it. Then she understood. Hahahahahaha.

Next thing to explain: TRAIN
I didn't want to say "interc0urse" or "s3x" out loud and I didn't know any other word to describe it. So I made gestures once again. I extended my pointer finger on one hand and with my other hand I made a circle shape with my thumb and pointer. I then proceeded to move the extended pointer in and out. And as I was doing the motions, I was saying "One person goes first and then when he's done, the next one goes..." Right as I'm doing this, the supervisor walks by. UH OH!!!!!

Here I am crouched by a female's desk and making s3xual gestures. It got quiet real quick. And after the supervisor left, we nearly died of laughter. We were cracking up so hard. I thought for sure we'd get fired. Or at least be put on a s3xual harrassment case.

I told her I'd explain everything else AFTER work so we don't get caught in a sticky situation again. Hahahahahahaha.