The Presidential Suite

There was this one cat, "Mr. President", who always had a drink in his hand. It was either coffee or an energy drink.....or both. I swear that this fool was gonna have the jitters or something. Maybe a nervous breakdown or cardiac arrest? Whatever it is, I don't wanna be around when it happens.

One day I saw him without either. And there was a huuuuuuge difference. The guy was like a sloth. He couldn't move, he couldn't function, he couldn't think. He just sat there taking up space and using up precious air that I could be using. Homeboy was hooked. I never thought of coffee or energy drinks as a drug but it sure did seem like it to this cat. I even knew when he used the bathroom. It smelled like someone poured their drink into the urinal. Ewwwwwwww.

From that day forth, I vowed to never drink coffee or energy drinks. I saw what it could do and I'll pass.

It's been 2.5 years since I've seen the guy. I wonder if he's still alive? If he is, he's probably at a Starbucks as we speak...