Behind Door #1

Another day in the delivery room started off like any other day. I'm doin' my thang, delivering a food baby, and people are doin' their thang, making it rain showers of gold, and we're respecting each others business. But this one time, somebody decided to cross the line.

When you walk into a bathroom and you try to open a stall door and it's locked, it usually means that somebody is in there. USUALLY. Actually, 99.9% of the time it means that. No, scratch that. 100% of the time it does. If the door you tried is locked, then try the next door and so on until you score. If all of them are locked, then you're shiet out of luck.

Well, on this day I was giving birth at the normal time I do on an everyday basis when someone tried to open the door. Of course it was locked. So he tried the next door. That, too, was locked. Shiet out of luck for him. Or so I thought.

There were only 2 stalls in this delivery room. And this guy went for door number 3. Door number 3? Where is that?

It's underneath door number 1! I was behind door number 1!

After being unsuccessful with door number 2, this guy decided to go back to door number 1 and look underneath it. I saw his eyes meet mine. WTF?!?!?!?!?! Who does that?

I got so creeped out I just finished as fast as I could and stormed out. And on my way back, I saw "Mr. Peeper" stretching his hamstrings, like a ballerina, on the balcony ledge. WTF?!?!?! Why is he stretching....