Splatterhouse 5

I saw "The Executive" walking all super fast down the hallway. He seemed extra eager to get to his destination. I was kinda curious to where he was going....but I lost him after he passed through the door. Oh well.

So I walk to my destination, the bathroom, and get a pleasant surprise. Right when I opened the door I heard one of the loudest farts I have ever heard. And accompanying that was the sound of splatters hitting porcelain. I swear that everything that came out of this person didn't even hit the water. It just straight up stuck to the inner rim. Never in my life have I witnessed something as glorious as this. I was seriously impressed.

I'm going pee and I'm expecting to hear more splatters. But no! All I hear is the roll of toilet paper being pulled and homeboy walks out. I'm still peeing here. And guess who it was? Yup! The Executive. I walked into that bathroom 10 seconds are he did. It probably took me 20 seconds to pee. And within that time span, homeboy was able to unleash a mad food baby! No wonder he was walking so fast.

Food baby in 30 seconds!!! I've never witnessed that type of speed combined with such ferocious explosiveness. That's championship material if you ask me. The heart of a champion...or should I say the a$$ of a champion!